burning up and burning out.

This past week the whole family has had some kind of bug. Even today I'm still feeling under the weather and we're over a week. Today was the first day I really felt up to running. I did a 25 minute work out alternating 90 seconds of 5 mph jogging and 90 seconds of walking. I am a results person so I find that difficult to take.

I feel like a total failure. Logically I get that I'm not going to wake up and be able to run a 20 minute 5k, but I have such a hard time accepting that fact. I've been running off and on for over a year. It's really frustrating to have so little to show for it. I get really aggravated at myself. I know I should be pushing myself harder, following through and most importantly for me, keeping a schedule. Like so many other things in life I have the best of intentions, but I leave it on the back burner until I am so far behind I can't even finish. Instead of pushing on and making the best of the time I have left I spin around like a chicken with my head cut off, try to accomplish the impossible and instead achieve nothing.

I guess I should look at the positives too,

• I can run a mile without stopping for the first time in a long time.
  
• Even though I'm still not feeling well, I still pushed myself to stay with the program and I finished the workout.
• I've worked out 2 times this week so far

I have a long way to go if I have any hope of running my 5ks this summer, but if I stay focused and press on I can do it :)